Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Fortify Your Relationship With These Top Tips
Being in a relationship can be hard if you have too many expectations coming into it. Whilst you should expect to have a certain degree of respect and love shown to you, the fairytale idea of the 'happy ever after' usually needs both partners to be willing to put a bit of work into the relationship. Here are some great ideas to help your relationship stay strong, or to get back on track if you've started to drift a little.
Give each other space.
There is no need to be constantly in each other's pockets in order to show how much you love each other. In fact, having a little time apart can strengthen the relationship. You should encourage each other to have independent interests, as well as ensuring that you have activities that you can do together. Your partner isn't there to be an extension of who you are, but to love and support you in all your activities, whether you take part in them together or not.
Look at who you are.
Often, people look for a partner to 'complete' them, to bring a certain something that they are missing in themselves. This is why so often an introvert will find themselves with an extrovert, or an adrenaline junkie will seek the security of a stay-at-home type. Whilst it is true that partners can bring out the best in each other if they have some opposite traits, it is also true that too many differences can spell the end of the relationship. A good relationship stems from each partner being happy and secure in who they are and not seeking to find something that they are lacking in themselves.
Embrace the ordinary.
Romantic love is a whirlwind of emotion, with heightened senses and a sense of euphoria. Lasting love, however, is what can be left once the initial thrills have died away. Romantic love is wonderful, but the highs and lows that it brings cannot be maintained long term. You need to be aware that ordinary life and deep love can be comfortable and comforting. Simple, shared pleasures are the building blocks of a lasting love.
Give more than you get.
It's true that giving can be better than receiving. Focusing on how you can make your partner happy can bring immeasurable joy and although we should not spend all of our time neglecting our own needs, when we give ourselves completely to someone else and they do the same for us, love can truly blossom. Of course, you must be aware of your own needs too and do not allow yourself to be taken for granted. Love should be a two way street.
It should always be remembered that love needs to be worked at in order to strengthen it and help it go the distance. One partner's efforts are seldom enough, so if you are giving more than you are receiving all the time and if your efforts are going unnoticed, do not stay regardless. Once you find that certain someone who wants to make the effort too, you will be rewarded with a deep and lasting love that will give you joy for the rest of your lives.
Author Jamie Knop on behalf of Switalskis family law solicitors.